The Problem with Porn

I was out having drinks last evening with a small group of women and, as sometimes happens, the conversation turned to the topic of sex. Of course, we were discussing the current season of The L Word (TLW) and why it's been much more entertaining this season than the last few seasons. Among other things, we all agreed that, for a straight woman, Jennifer Beals gives a hot and believable performance in her lesbian love scenes (or sex scenes, if you don't buy that love is actually part of the equation). We also pretty much agreed that those scenes were, for all intents and purposes, soft porn (except those with Jennifer Beals, who, unlike some of the other actresses on TLW, appears to have it in her contract to not actually show any "skin"). But, as also sometimes happens, the conversation was interrupted and we never actually return to this academic discussion.

Before we were interrupted, I had started to give my observations about WHY the sex scenes from TLW, and other similar shows or movies, are so much more of a sexual turn-on for women than the porn flicks often favored by the male of the species. So, for those who are interested, I offer now to provide my observations on the topic. For the purpose of fair comparison, I'm limiting this short discussion to woman/woman sex scenes in movies or shows like TLW and the woman/woman sex scenes in porn flicks (yes, I've observed a few of these scenes, so I'm mildly qualified to comment).

Here's how I even came to be thinking about this topic. Recently, I was chatting with an online friend who works in the Adult Entertainment Industry (AEI). For the record, she has a heavy duty college education and is therefore very well spoken (which means she uses proper grammar and spelling). Of course, she likes to share about her latest exploits (and I like to change the topic to something more palatable like movies). She also enjoys sharing porn clips that she likes in order get my opinion (partly to see what might work for her show and partly to see if she can turn me on, which I usually tolerate for awhile). But mostly porn doesn't really work for me.

Now it just happens that I had watched a movie, that very day, which had a really hot love scene (I usually buy that love is in the equation because I'm a sucker for romance). Since another online friend has that particular clip (along with several others) on her website, I sent my AEI friend there to see what I thought was way sexier. She pretty much agreed with me, although she went right back to sending me porn clips (oh well, reform school probably wouldn't have work either). Then, by fluke I think, she sent me a clip of two women who, she said, were actually lovers (and not just in the video). The difference was totally obvious. Here's why: THEY LOOKED IN EACH OTHER'S EYES!!! Yeah, it was hardcore show-everything-but-the-kitchen-sink porn (well, I might have seen a kitchen sink too), but they were actually really into each other on an emotional level. And that is what works for me. That same eye contact and emotion is what makes scenes in shows like TLW believable to women.

The actresses in TLW are really there to sell subscriptions to a TV channel using a show which is primarily about the relationships between women. It's acting 101 that eye contact and the projection of emotion is what makes the acted relationships believable. Porn, on the other hand, is produced by an industry that is basically filming sex acts in order to sell videos for a lot of money. The focus is on the sexual performance and nothing else. If you've ever watched porn, then you probably noticed how bad the "acting" part of the scenes are in comparison to the sexual performance which is not acted, but really happening. That's the primary reason it usually does little or nothing for me. There's no connection between the performers except physically. Therefore, there's no emotional investment. Most of the women I know are way more interested in the relationships between people (not that they don't enjoy some skin with those relationships).

So my conclusion is, if the porn industry wants to really open up a new market (i.e. sell a lot more porn to women) they need better actors and stories. I do hear there's a burgeoning niche in lesbian porn which is of course written, directed and produced by women not men. I haven't seen it though, and I refuse to pay for it, so unless my AEI friend manages to find it and send it to me, I doubt I'll ever see it.